- you refuse to enter your bathroom in case there's something, well... unexpected lurking there.
- you tell yourself that Scully would look, and you enter the bathroom armed with a flashlight, a candlestick, and your hardback copy of Ruins.
- you know that the truth really is out there.
- if your father smokes, your secret nickname for him is the Cigarette-Smoking Man.
- you cannot walk down the street without looking precariously over your shoulder for any stray, angry Adult Mutant Bounty Hunters.
- your parents call you paranoid.
- Chris Carter calls you paranoid.
- the Lone Gunmen would call you paranoid.
- Fox Mulder would call you paranoid.
- you set your alarm for 10:13 AM.
- you set your alarm for 11:21 AM.
- you surprise your parents by actually setting your alarm.
- you know every line ever spoken, ever. And you prove it when people try to strike up an otherwise perfectly normal conversation.
- you want to set up a newsletter entitled The Lone Gunman.
- you want to put off the bad guys by putting out a fake one entitled The Magic Bullet.
- you do both.
- you think you're being followed. By Interpol.
- you think you're being followed by Alex Krycek.
- you wish you were being followed by Alex Krycek.
- you wish you were being followed by Fox Mulder.
- you wish you were being followed by Dana Scully.
- you wish you were an X-File.
- you want to be in an X-File.
- you wish you were on the show, full stop.
- you wish you were the Creator, Chris Carter.
- you wish you were married to Chris Carter.
- you are warier than ever, even when entering your apartment.
- you know more about UFOs than you ever did.
- you want to open a MUFON diner.
- you know more about the show than the people who work on it.
- you know more about the future of the show than the people who work on it.
- you can recite every episode title. Backwards.
- you have seen Inside The X-Files more times than you care to remember.
- you know what CC's going to say as soon as he opens his mouth.
- you break videotapes because you've rewound them again... and again... and again...
- you have financed 20th Century Fox's next three big-budget movies through the amount of merchandise, books, and other paraphernalia that cover the entire floor of your house.
- you are either a sceptic or a believer.
- you trust no-one.
- you've toyed with the idea of being an FBI Agent.
- you've toyed with the idea of being a doctor or pathologist.
- you want to discover the real X-Files.
- you want to believe.
- you want to change your last name to Mulder, Scully, Skinner, or Krycek.
- your new initials are C.G.B.
- you make people that you know really well call you by your surname, never by your first name.
- if you don't, you wish you lived in Chilmark. Or Arlington. Or Georgetown, for that matter.
- you call yourself S.A.C. or A.D. As a title.
- you want to change your date of birth to the 12 November, 1974.
- you want one of those blue and yellow FBI jackets.
- you need your daily fix of sunflower seeds.
- for an alcoholic beverage, you drink vodka and orange, a la Mulder in Agrippa. Or tequila shots, a la the Movie. 86 of them, to be precise.
- you have your own little shrine to Queequeg.
- you quote from the Files constantly. Always. Even up to "This is not happening. This is not happening."
- you have a filing cabinet. Complete with files.
- ...you carry a mobile phone and flashlight constantly.
- you are constantly doing impressions of Mulder and Scully in danger, much to the annoyance of your family. "Mulderrrrrr!" ... "Sculleeeeee!"
- you re-enact your favourite episode, line for line: it's your specialist party trick.
...
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